working back to normal

Thanks guys for the sweet comments on Phoebe's jacket! And yes! to all of you who mentioned the plaid. Isn't that great. That and the gold knit are both from Joanns. I think the jacket would have been in the junk pile for sure if it hadn't been for my deep love for that fabric pairing. Another lesson maybe, work with fabric you love.

So my brain is stuck in goo today and I thought maybe I could write a quick post to unclog. I am having the hardest time blogging lately. I know a huge part of it is our new Fall schedule and it's almost complete lack of free alone time for me. Right now both kids are in their drop off activities for 2 hours and instead of being able to cruise through my huge to-do list I'm wandering around the house in a haze feeling like I forgot something.

I joke with my friends that writing the book broke me but I think actually it might have dinged me a little. All that work and all the responsibility is taking longer to recover from than I thought it would. It's tricky business making work out of what you love to do. I really want to just make and stitch and not think about the shop or the photos or writing about it or I don't know what. I feel like everything got so formal and official and I've lost myself or my voice. Or sort of like I forgot what I was doing. I'm just going to push through though. That's what you do when you don't feel yourself, keep acting yourself until it's back on track, right? 

I'm working on this cross stitch at night and I love it. It's so exact and perfect and I don't have to make a single decision, colors, designs, they're all decided. It's like a therapeutic puzzle and I sort of feel like when I have it completed I'll be right as rain.

19 thoughts on “working back to normal

  1. Gail says:

    You will have your Mojo back before you know it! I can’t wait for you wonderful book :) I need a huge shove to get crafting before the holidays! Time is totally getting away from me UGHHHHHH!

  2. Jody says:

    I’ve been feeling exactly like that recently too and I find cross stitch so relaxing, I have finished my Hieland Coo bookmark cross stitch a couple of weeks ago though so need to buy a new one.
    Hope you feel more yourself soon:)

  3. julie green says:

    i appreciate this post hilary. i know well how you feel and i wish i knew whether the answer was to push on and fake it ’til you make it or to try new things until something new inspired you back to life. maybe a bit of both.
    either way, i know you’ll be back to yourself soon.

  4. Kristin says:

    I so identify with this post, and I didn’t even write a book! I think the last blog post I wrote was in July *BLUSH* It turned from “I get to” to “I have to”. I’m hoping the “get to” will be back soon!

  5. Kate says:

    I’ve felt this same way after completing big projects, just sort of hazy and at loose ends. I think it’s just a step in the process, a phase you go through before you’re able to enjoy feeling unburdened and ready for new inspiration.
    My coping strategy usually involves shameful amounts of junk food and somewhat trashy entertainment. Just a suggestion.

  6. amanda says:

    yes, cross stitching have that same effect on me too. just follow the diagram without any decision making involved and you’ll get beautiful results. you make me want to buy those cross stitching kits at the craft store!

  7. frog says:

    Yep, I get that feeling at the end of a big project, especially when there’s so much of yourself in them. There is a lot to be said for pausing, for letting your head clear itself through the simple practice of craft where someone has made the decision for you. Kind of like how you do for others? Let someone else take care of your crafting decisions for just a little bit and before you know it, there’ll be wisps of your ideas floating around you.

  8. Mary Ann/Ca says:

    Oh yes, I am currently knitting a simple baby cap, mindless all around on circle needles knit, knit, and more knit, not a purl in sight. Its helping me push past a couple of big projects too and I found myself thinking of what else new to start just last night. Just go with it all for a bit I’d say…mind like water?

  9. mamie says:

    i know the wandering haze you speak of, out twins are in pre-school and i wish those three hours twice a week were used productively. so far, no go. hope mine comes back along wit yours.

  10. Kelley Hart Jenkins says:

    You are so right about working through it! All I want to do is make things and be creative, then all the business crap, marketing, bill paying, blah, blah, blah gets in the way. So when I’m overwhelmed, at a loss, don’t know where to start, I just make something, it doesn’t even have to be important, it just gets me going. Time and patience helps too. Don’t beat your self up! You’ve accomplished something major, and you need a break!

  11. patricia says:

    I relate to this so much and I like the word ‘dinged’. That’s exactly how I felt when I was done with my book. It’s been a long while and I don’t think I’m fully recovered.

  12. Michelle says:

    Things will be okay soon enough. It’s just a matter of doing what makes YOU happy, and doing something YOU want to do. The end of your post reminded me of a song by the artist Adele: Right as Rain. I’ve found that listening to my favorite CD’s as loud as I please also helps. I hope your week goes well :)

  13. Julie says:

    By the time your book comes out you’ll be so pleased you went through all of the stresses to make it happen. Seasonal changes also knock things out of kilter for a while. Here’s wishing you some peaceful, tranquil, topping-up-the-tank kind of crafting and that you find yourself back in your own comfy shoes again soon.

  14. ruth singer says:

    I know just what you mean. I’m in the process of proofing my second book in 18th months and have no idea where my creativity went. It got sucked into the book and spat out and the thought of all that studio space with no “got to do something for the book” restriction is almost daunting.
    Good luck with finding yourself again – and don’t sign another book contract for a few months at least!

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